Chapter XVIII.—Men Desire to Observe the Rules of Learning, But Neglect the Eternal Rules of Everlasting Safety.

28. But what matter of surprise is it that I was thus carried towards vanity, and went forth from Thee, O my God, when men were proposed to me to imitate, who, should they in relating any acts of theirs—not in themselves evil—be guilty of a barbarism or solecism, when censured for it became confounded; but when they made a full and ornate oration, in well-chosen words, concerning their own licentiousness, and were applauded for it, they boasted? Thou seest this, O Lord, and keepest silence, “long-suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth,”58    Ps. lxxxvi. 15. as Thou art. Wilt Thou keep silence for ever? And even now Thou drawest out of this vast deep the soul that seeketh Thee and thirsteth after Thy delights, whose “heart said unto Thee,” I have sought Thy face, “Thy face, Lord, will I seek.”59    Ps. xxvii. 8. For I was far from Thy face, through my darkened60    Rom. i. 21. affections. For it is not by our feet, nor by change of place, that we either turn from Thee or return to Thee. Or, indeed, did that younger son look out for horses, or chariots, or ships, or fly away with visible wings, or journey by the motion of his limbs, that he might, in a far country, prodigally waste all that Thou gavest him when he set out? A kind Father when Thou gavest, and kinder still when he returned destitute!61    Luke xv. 11–32. So, then, in wanton, that is to say, in darkened affections, lies distance from Thy face.

29. Behold, O Lord God, and behold patiently, as Thou art wont to do, how diligently the sons of men observe the conventional rules of letters and syllables, received from those who spoke prior to them, and yet neglect the eternal rules of everlasting salvation received from Thee, insomuch that he who practises or teaches the hereditary rules of pronunciation, if, contrary to grammatical usage, he should say, without aspirating the first letter, a uman being, will offend men more than if, in opposition to Thy commandments, he, a human being, were to hate a human being. As if, indeed, any man should feel that an enemy could be more destructive to him than that hatred with which he is excited against him, or that he could destroy more utterly him whom he persecutes than he destroys his own soul by his enmity. And of a truth, there is no science of letters more innate than the writing of conscience—that he is doing unto another what he himself would not suffer. How mysterious art Thou, who in silence “dwellest on high,”62    Isa. xxxiii. 5. Thou God, the only great, who by an unwearied law dealest out the punishment of blindness to illicit desires! When a man seeking for the reputation of eloquence stands before a human judge while a thronging multitude surrounds him, inveighs against his enemy with the most fierce hatred, he takes most vigilant heed that his tongue slips not into grammatical error, but takes no heed lest through the fury of his spirit he cut off a man from his fellow-men.63    Literally, “takes care not by a slip of the tongue to say inter hominibus, but takes no care lest hominem auferat ex hominibus.”

CAPUT XVIII. Quod homines curant servare leges grammaticorum, et non divinorum praeceptorum.

28. Quid autem mirum quod in vanitates ita ferebar, et a te, Deus meus, ibam foras, quando mihi imitandi proponebantur homines, qui aliqua facta sua non mala, si cum barbarismo aut soloecismo enuntiarent, reprehensi confundebantur; si autem libidines suas integris et rite consequentibus verbis copiose ornateque narrarent, laudati gloriabantur? Vides haec, Domine, et taces, longanimis, et multum misericors, et verax. Numquid semper tacebis? Et nunc eruis de hoc immanissimo profundo quaerentem te animam, et sitientem delectationes tuas, et cujus cor dicit tibi: Quaesivi vultum tuum; vultum tuum, Domine, requiram (Psal. XXVI, 8). Nam longe a vultu tuo, in affectu tenebroso . Non enim pedibus aut spatiis locorum itur abs te, aut reditur ad te. Aut vero filius ille tuus minor equos, aut currus, vel naves quaesivit, aut avolavit penna visibili, aut moto poplite iter egit, ut in longinqua regione vivens prodige dissiparet quod dederas proficiscenti? Dulcis pater quia dederas, et egeno redeunti dulcior (Luc. XV, 12, 32). In affectu ergo libidinoso, id enim est tenebroso, atque id est longe a vultu tuo.

29. Vide, Domine Deus, et patienter ut vides vide, quomodo diligenter observent filii hominum pacta litterarum, 0674 et syllabarum accepta a prioribus locutoribus, et a te accepta aeterna pacta perpetuae salutis negligant; ut qui illa sonorum vetera placita teneat aut doceat, si contra disciplinam grammaticam, sine aspiratione primae syllabae, ominem, dixerit, displiceat magis hominibus, quam si contra tua praecepta hominem oderit, cum sit homo. Quasi vero quemlibet inimicum hominem perniciosius sentiat quam ipsum odium, quo in eum irritatur, aut vastet quisquam persequendo alium gravius, quam cor suum vastat inimicando. Et certe non est interior litterarum scientia, quam scripta conscientia, id se alteri facere quod nolit pati. Quam tu secretus es, habitans in excelsis in silentio, Deus solus magnus, lege infatigabili spargens poenales caecitates super illicitas cupiditates! Cum homo eloquentiae famam quaerit, astans ante hominem judicem, circumstante hominum multitudine, inimicum suum odio immanissimo insectans, vigilantissime cavet ne per linguae errorem dicat, Inter hominibus ; et ne per mentis furorem hominem auferat ex hominibus, non cavet.