Augustine of Hippo, The Confessions

15. And so say I too, O my God, where art Thou? Behold where Thou art! In Thee I breathe a little, when I pour out my soul by myself in the voice of joy and praise, the sound of him that keeps holy-day.1121 Ibid. ver. 4. And yet it is “cast down,” because it relapses and becomes a deep, or rather it feels that it is still a deep. Unto it doth my faith speak which Thou hast kindled to enlighten my feet in the night, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God;”1122 Ibid. ver. 5. His “word is a lamp unto my feet.”1123 Ps. cxix. 105. Hope and endure until the night,—the mother of the wicked,—until the anger of the Lord be overpast,1124 Job xiv. 13. whereof we also were once children who were sometimes darkness,1125 Eph. ii. 3, and v. 8. the remains whereof we carry about us in our body, dead on account of sin,1126 Rom. viii. 10. “until the day break and the shadows flee away.”1127 Cant. ii. 17. “Hope thou in the Lord.” In the morning I shall stand in Thy presence, and contemplate Thee;1128 Ps. v. 3. I shall for ever confess unto Thee.1129 Ps. xxx. 12. In the morning I shall stand in Thy presence, and shall see “the health of my countenance,”1130 Ps. xliii. 5. my God, who also shall quicken our mortal bodies by the Spirit that dwelleth in us,1131 Rom. viii. 11. because in mercy He was borne over our inner darksome and floating deep. Whence we have in this pilgrimage received “an earnest”1132 2 Cor. i. 22. that we should now be light, whilst as yet we “are saved by hope,”1133 Rom. viii. 24. and are the children of light, and the children of the day,—not the children of the night nor of the darkness,1134 Though of the light, we are not yet in the light; and though, in this grey dawn of the coming day, we have a foretaste of the vision that shall be, we cannot hope, as he says in Ps. v. 4, to “see Him as He is” until the darkness of sin be overpast. which yet we have been.1135 Eph. v. 8, and 1 Thess. v. 5. Betwixt whom and us, in this as yet uncertain state of human knowledge, Thou only dividest, who provest our hearts1136 Ps. vii. 9. and callest the light day, and the darkness night.1137 Gen. i. 5. For who discerneth us but Thou? But what have we that we have not received of Thee?1138 1 Cor. iv. 7. Out of the same lump vessels unto honour, of which others also are made to dishonour.1139 Rom. ix. 21.

CAPUT XIV. Fide et spe corroboramur.

15. Et ego dico: Deus meus, ubi es? Ecce ubi es . Respiro in te paululum, cum effundo super me animam meam in voce exsultationis et confessionis, soni festivitatem celebrantis (Psal. XLI, 5). Et adhuc tristis est, quia relabitur et fit abyssus; vel potius, sentit adhuc se esse abyssum. Dicit ei fides mea quam accendisti in nocte ante pedes meos: Quare tristis es, anima mea, et quare conturbas me? Spera in Domino (Psal. XLII, 5, 6); lucerna pedibus tuis verbum ejus (Psal. CXVIII, 105). Spera et persevera, donec transeat nox mater iniquorum, donec transeat ira Domini, cujus filii et nos fuimus aliquando tenebrae, quarum residua trahimus in corpore propter peccatum mortuo (Rom. VIII, 10), donec aspiret dies, et removeantur umbrae (Cant. II, 17). Spera in Domino: mane astabo , et contemplabor; semper confitebor illi. Mane astabo, et videbo (Psal. V, 5) salutare vultus mei (Psal. XLII, 5), Deum meum qui vivificabit et mortalia corpora nostra, propter Spiritum qui habitat in nobis (Rom. VIII, 11); quia super interius nostrum tenebrosum et fluidum misericorditer superferebatur. Unde in hac peregrinatione pignus accepimus (II Cor. I, 22), ut jam simus lux (Ephes. V, 8), dum adhuc spe salvi facti sumus (Rom. VIII, 24), et filii lucis, et filii diei, non filii noctis neque tenebrarum (I Thess. V, 5), quod tamen fuimus. Inter quos et nos in isto adhuc incerto humanae notitiae, tu solus dividis, qui probas corda nostra, et vocas lucem diem, et tenebras noctem (Gen. I, 5). Quis enim nos discernit, nisi tu? quid autem habemus quod non accepimus a te (I Cor. IV, 7), ex eadem massa vasa in honorem, ex qua sunt et alia facta in contumeliam? (Rom. IX, 21.)