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for child-rearing he led me into his own house, for housekeeping. But are these things unpleasant to the bride? For the first day, and the second; but for the rest, no, but she will also reap the greatest pleasure, freeing herself from all suspicion. For the one who did not endure either flutes or dancers or wanton songs, and this at the time of the wedding, would hardly ever endure to do or say anything shameful. And after this, when you have removed all these things from the wedding, having taken her, mold her well, extending her modesty for a long time, and not quickly dispelling it. For even if the girl is rather shameless, for a time she knows to be silent, being in awe of her husband, and being new to the situation. You therefore do not dispel this modesty quickly, which licentious men do, but extend it for a long 62.146 time; for this will be a great gain for you. For a while she will not accuse, she will not find fault with what you lay down. 8. Therefore lay down all the laws at that time, during which her modesty, just like some bridle placed upon her soul, does not permit her to find fault with anything, nor to complain about what is happening. For when she gets hold of boldness, with great liberty she overturns and confuses everything. When, then, is there another time so suitable for molding a wife, as that one, during which she reveres her husband, and still fears him and is abashed? At that time set down for her all the laws, and she will certainly obey, both willingly and unwillingly. And how will you not dispel her modesty? When you yourself also appear to be no less modest than she is, speaking little, and this with great gravity and reserve; then lay down for her discourses on philosophy; for her soul is receptive; bring her into the most beautiful state, modesty, I mean. But if you wish, I will also speak for the sake of an example, what one should say to her. For if Paul did not shrink from saying, Do not deprive one another, and uttered the words of a bridemaid, or rather, not of a bridemaid, but of a spiritual soul; much more will we not shrink from speaking. What then should one say to her? Speak to her, however, with much grace; We, my child, have taken you as a partner in life and have brought you in to share with us in the most honorable and necessary things, in the begetting of children, and in the charge of the house. What then do we ask of you? Or rather, before this discourse on the things of love; for nothing so contributes to persuading the hearer to accept what is said, as to learn that it is said with much love. How then will you show love? If you say that while it was possible to take many women, both wealthier and of illustrious family, I did not choose them, but I fell in love with you and your way of life, your modesty, your gentleness, your self-control. Then from these things immediately prepare a way for discourses on philosophy, and speak against wealth with some circumlocution. For if you simply stretch out a speech against wealth, you will be tiresome; but if you take up a premise, you will accomplish everything. For you will seem to be doing the thing in the manner of a defense, not as someone austere and ungracious and petty, but when you take the premise from her own case, she will even be pleased. You will say then (for it is necessary to take up the argument again), that though it was possible to marry a rich and wealthy woman, I could not bear it. Why ever? Not simply, nor at random, but I was well taught, that wealth is no possession, but a thing to be despised, and belonging to robbers and harlots and grave-robbers. Wherefore, leaving these things, I came to the virtue of your soul, which I prefer to all gold. For a prudent and free-born young maiden, and one who cares for piety, is worth the whole world. Indeed for these reasons I both welcomed you and I love you, and I set you before my own soul. For the present life is nothing, and I pray and I exhort and I do everything, so that we may be deemed worthy to order the present life in such a way, that we may be able there also in the age to come with great confidence to be together with one another. For this time is short and frail; but if, having pleased God, we might be deemed worthy to depart this life thus 62.147

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παιδοτροφίαν με ἤγαγεν εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν τὴν ἑαυτοῦ, ἐπὶ οἰκουρίαν. Ἀλλ' ἀηδῆ ταῦτα τῇ νύμφῃ; Μέχρι τῆς πρώτης ἡμέρας, καὶ τῆς δευτέρας· λοιπὸν δὲ οὐκ, ἀλλὰ καὶ μεγίστην καρπώσεται τὴν ἡδονὴν, πάσης ἑαυτὴν ὑποψίας ἀπαλλάττουσα. Ὁ γὰρ μήτε αὐλῶν μήτε ὀρχουμένων μήτε ᾀσμάτων κεκλασμένων ἀνασχόμενος, καὶ ταῦτα παρὰ τὸν τοῦ γάμου καιρὸν, σχολῇ γ' ἂν οὗτος ἀνέξεταί ποτε πρᾶξαι ἢ εἰπεῖν τι αἰσχρόν. Μετὰ δὲ τοῦτο, ὅταν πάντα περιέλῃς ταῦτα τοῦ γάμου, παραλαβὼν αὐτὴν, πλάττε καλῶς, τὸ μὲν αἰσχυντηλὸν ἐπὶ πολὺ τοῦ χρόνου ἐξάγων, καὶ μὴ διαλύων ταχέως. Κἂν γὰρ ἀναισχυντοτέρα ᾖ ἡ κόρη, μέχρι καιροῦ σιγᾷν οἶδεν, αἰδουμένη τὸν ἄνδρα, καὶ ξενιζομένη πρὸς τὰ πράγματα. Σὺ τοίνυν τοῦτο τὸ αἰσχυντηλὸν μὴ διαλύσῃς ταχέως, ὅπερ οἱ ἀκόλαστοι ποιοῦσι τῶν ἀνδρῶν, ἀλλ' ἐπεξάγαγε ἐπὶ πολὺν χρό 62.146 νον· μέγα γάρ σοι τοῦτο ἔσται κέρδος. Οὐκ ἐγκαλέσει τέως, οὐ μέμψεται ἐφ' οἷς διατυπώσῃς. ηʹ. Πάντα τοίνυν κατ' ἐκεῖνον νομοθέτει τὸν χρόνον, καθ' ὃν ἡ αἰσχύνη, καθάπερ τις χαλινὸς ἐπικείμενος τῇ ψυχῇ, οὐκ ἀφίησιν οὐδὲν μέμφεσθαι, οὐδὲ ἐγκαλεῖν τοῖς γινομένοις. Ὅταν γὰρ παῤῥησίας ἐπιλάβηται, μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς ἀδείας πάντα ἀνατρέπει καὶ συγχεῖ. Πότε τοίνυν ἐστὶν ἕτερος οὕτω καιρὸς ἐπιτήδειος πρὸς τὸ πλάττειν γυναῖκα, ὡς ἐκεῖνος, καθ' ὃν αἰδεῖται τὸν ἄνδρα, καὶ δέδοικεν ἔτι καὶ δυσωπεῖται; Τότε αὐτῇ τίθει τοὺς νόμους ἅπαντας, καὶ πάντως πεισθήσεται, καὶ ἑκοῦσα καὶ ἄκουσα. Πῶς δὲ τὴν αἰσχύνην οὐ λύσεις; Ὅταν φαίνῃ καὶ αὐτὸς οὐδὲν ἧττον ἐκείνης αἰσχυνόμενος, ὀλίγα μὲν προσδιαλεγόμενος, καὶ αὐτὰ δὲ μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς ἐμβριθείας καὶ τῆς συστροφῆς· τότε αὐτῇ τοὺς περὶ φιλοσοφίας κατάθες λόγους· δέχεται γὰρ ἡ ψυχή· εἰς τὴν καλλίστην ἕξιν αὐτὴν κατάστησον, τὴν αἰσχύνην λέγω. Εἰ δὲ βούλεσθε, καὶ ὑποδείγματος ἕνεκεν ἐρῶ, τίνα πρὸς αὐτὴν διαλέγεσθαι χρή. Εἰ γὰρ Παῦλος οὐ παρῃτήσατο εἰπεῖν, Μὴ ἀποστερεῖτε ἀλλήλους, καὶ νυμφευτρίας ἐφθέγξατο ῥήματα, μᾶλλον δὲ οὐ νυμφευτρίας, ἀλλὰ πνευματικῆς ψυχῆς· πολλῷ μᾶλλον ἡμεῖς οὐ παραιτησόμεθα εἰπεῖν. Τί τοίνυν αὐτῇ διαλέγεσθαι χρή; Μετὰ πολλῆς μέντοι χάριτος λέγειν πρὸς αὐτήν· Ἡμεῖς, ὦ παιδίον, τοῦ βίου σε κοινωνὸν ἐλάβομεν καὶ εἰσηγάγομεν ἐν τοῖς τιμιωτέροις καὶ ἀναγκαιοτέροις ἡμῖν κοινωνήσουσαν, ἐν παιδοποιίᾳ, καὶ οἰκίας προστασίᾳ. Τί οὖν δή σε παρακαλοῦμεν; Μᾶλλον δὲ πρὸ τούτου τὰ τῆς ἀγάπης διαλέγου· οὐδὲν γὰρ οὕτω συμβάλλεται πρὸς τὸ πεῖσαι τὸν ἀκούοντα δέξασθαι τὰ λεγόμενα, ὡς τὸ μαθεῖν, ὅτι μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς ἀγάπης λέγεται. Πῶς οὖν δείξεις τὴν ἀγάπην; Ἂν εἴπῃς, ὅτι Πολλὰς ἐνὸν λαβεῖν, καὶ εὐπορωτέρας καὶ γένους λαμπροῦ, οὐχ εἱλόμην, ἀλλὰ σοῦ καὶ τῆς σῆς ἠράσθην ἀναστροφῆς, τῆς κοσμιότητος, τῆς ἐπιεικείας, τῆς σωφροσύνης. Εἶτα ἀπὸ τούτων εὐθὺς παρασκεύασον ὁδὸν τῶν λόγων τῶν περὶ φιλοσοφίας, καὶ κατηγόρει τοῦ πλούτου μετά τινος περιόδου. Ἁπλῶς μὲν γὰρ ἐὰν κατατείνῃς λόγον κατὰ πλούτου, φορτικὸς ἔσῃ· ἂν δὲ ὑποθέσεως λαβόμενος, πάντα ἀνύσεις. ∆όξεις γὰρ ἐν τάξει ἀπολογίας τὸ πρᾶγμα ποιεῖν, οὐχ ὡς αὐστηρός τις καὶ ἄχαρις καὶ μικρολόγος, ἀλλ' ὅταν ἐκ τῶν αὐτῆς τὴν ὑπόθεσιν λάβῃς, καὶ ἡσθήσεται. Ἐρεῖς οὖν (πάλιν γὰρ τὸν λόγον ἀναλαβεῖν ἀναγκαῖον), ὅτι παρὸν πλουσίαν γῆμαι καὶ εὔπορον, οὐκ ἠνεσχόμην. Τί δήποτε; Οὐχ ἁπλῶς, οὐδὲ εἰκῆ, ἀλλ' ἐπαιδεύθην ἐγὼ καλῶς, ὅτι πλοῦτος οὐδὲν κτῆμά ἐστιν, ἀλλὰ πρᾶγμα εὐκαταφρόνητον, καὶ λῃσταῖς προσὸν καὶ πόρναις γυναιξὶ καὶ τυμβωρύχοις. ∆ιὸ ταῦτα ἀφεὶς, ἐπὶ τὴν τῆς σῆς ἀρετὴν ἦλθον ψυχῆς, ἣν παντὸς προτιμῶ χρυσίου. Συνετὴ γὰρ καὶ ἐλευθέρα κόρη νέα, καὶ εὐλαβείας ἐπιμελουμένη, πάσης τῆς οἰκουμένης ἐστὶν ἀνταξία. ∆ιὰ δὴ ταῦτά σε καὶ ἠσπασάμην καὶ φιλῶ, καὶ τῆς ἐμαυτοῦ προτίθημι ψυχῆς. Οὐδὲν γὰρ ὁ παρὼν βίος ἐστὶ, καὶ εὔχομαι καὶ παρακαλῶ καὶ πάντα ποιῶ, ὥστε ἡμᾶς οὕτω καταξιωθῆναι τὸν παρόντα στῆσαι βίον, ὥστε δυνηθῆναι καὶ ἐκεῖ ἐν τῷ μέλλοντι αἰῶνι μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς ἀδείας ἀλλήλοις συνεῖναι. Ὁ μὲν γὰρ χρόνος οὗτος βραχὺς καὶ ἐπίκηρος· εἰ δὲ, καταξιωθείημεν εὐαρεστήσαντες τῷ Θεῷ οὕτω τὸν βίον μετελ 62.147 θεῖν